Bromptonitis
Bromptonitis is a severe life limiting condition where a person becomes unable to use any bicycle other than a Brompton. In the most severe cases the sufferer will deny the utility of any other sort of bike.
The defining symptom is when a cyclist uses a Brompton for a journey where the bike is not folded, and where a working conventional bike is available. If they move their big wheel bike out of the way to get at a Brompton the diagnosis is irrefutable.
Merely owning a Brompton does not give you Bromptonitis, but it can be the start of the descent into this worst of all bicycle addictions.
If you have a Brompton, beware of these risk factors:
At this stage of addiction self treatment is possible. It's equivalent to the social drinker who notices they are having a bottle of wine with a meal rather than a glass, and decides to cut down. At this stage Bromptonitis may be avoided by consciously asking if it's necessary to use one, and use a proper bike if at all possible.
As the addiction gets more severe, the sufferer will often buy a second Brompton. This will be rationalised as "it's so a friend can borrow it" or "it's my husband's/wife's/child's". They will start using the Brompton for journeys over five km, or even take it touring. They will start reading blogs about them and join groups of similar addicts. At this stage merely trying to cut down on Brompton use will be impossible. The only way out is to go Cold Turkey and get rid of all Bromptons completely. Merely selling them is no good, as the addict can use the money to buy another one. The best way is to take them to a scrapyard and throw them into the metal shredding machine. If they do this then spend a few years riding a proper bike with sensible sized wheels then recovery is usually good, but they must stay away from small wheelers or folders for the rest of their lives to avoid relapse.
Sadly most Bromptonitis sufferers don't realise they have a problem. Many fall prey to dealers such as Kinetics who happily sell them "upgrades" such as belt drive, disk brakes and extra gears. Some even fit fatter tyres, turning their bikes into poor imitations of the Raleigh RSW 16.
The defining symptom is when a cyclist uses a Brompton for a journey where the bike is not folded, and where a working conventional bike is available. If they move their big wheel bike out of the way to get at a Brompton the diagnosis is irrefutable.
Merely owning a Brompton does not give you Bromptonitis, but it can be the start of the descent into this worst of all bicycle addictions.
If you have a Brompton, beware of these risk factors:
- Buying accessories
- Buying Brompton branded clothing
- Customising your Brompton with non-standard parts
- Referring to real bikes as "cumbersomes"
- Not folding the bike
- Being able to do the "Brompton Flick"
At this stage of addiction self treatment is possible. It's equivalent to the social drinker who notices they are having a bottle of wine with a meal rather than a glass, and decides to cut down. At this stage Bromptonitis may be avoided by consciously asking if it's necessary to use one, and use a proper bike if at all possible.
As the addiction gets more severe, the sufferer will often buy a second Brompton. This will be rationalised as "it's so a friend can borrow it" or "it's my husband's/wife's/child's". They will start using the Brompton for journeys over five km, or even take it touring. They will start reading blogs about them and join groups of similar addicts. At this stage merely trying to cut down on Brompton use will be impossible. The only way out is to go Cold Turkey and get rid of all Bromptons completely. Merely selling them is no good, as the addict can use the money to buy another one. The best way is to take them to a scrapyard and throw them into the metal shredding machine. If they do this then spend a few years riding a proper bike with sensible sized wheels then recovery is usually good, but they must stay away from small wheelers or folders for the rest of their lives to avoid relapse.
Sadly most Bromptonitis sufferers don't realise they have a problem. Many fall prey to dealers such as Kinetics who happily sell them "upgrades" such as belt drive, disk brakes and extra gears. Some even fit fatter tyres, turning their bikes into poor imitations of the Raleigh RSW 16.
